The LINK!

"You should always have a 'why' to live for" ~ Yasmin E. Ouf

That was the beginning of it. The beginning of my unstoppable thoughts that started with the very first training of the life-changing camp I've been to for the last few days. I can't even count the number of things I've been rethinking about, and reconsidering during those days, and how much I'm thankful for finally getting such a chance.

I've been hearing about this camp from ex-campers all year long, but never did I imagine it would be that way, at all. Actually, the fact that those were four whole concentrated days, giving us the opportunity to detach ourselves from the real world and think about some serious stuff for a while, was all what we really needed, and what really made it effective. I, personally, decided to detach myself from my greatest attachment, which is my phone, with all its associations. Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp, everything. That was something huge for me, but I loved it. I realized it was really okay to live without those stuff, I wouldn't die if I didn't check every single social network every day, and there's nothing much that I'd be missing anyway. And so, that was my first resolution; every time I'd feel like I'm getting too attached to something, I'm going to give myself some space away from it for a while, until it doesn't control me anymore. Even if that attachment was a person. We just tend to mix our priorities sometimes, leaving what's more important behind, when in fact it'd be all what we really need at the time. We also don't realize how getting busy with something else could alone take over any attachment thoughts, and not even give you the time to think of any of them. 'Detaching' just doesn't scare me anymore, for I've experienced its beauty and never would I want to deprive myself from such a feeling ever again.

My sleeping patterns were as follows; I only got one hour of sleep on the night before the camp, four hours of sleep on our first night there, six hours on the second night, and finally, three hours on the last one. And that was something totally new for me, because I'm normally a person who just loves to sleep, ehem.. But seriously, every other minute of every day was spent wisely on something that either inspired me or uplifted my mood, and I literally mean 'every minute'. That, alone, was an inspiration to me. The fact that we could do all that amount of productive stuff in one day made me think about all the days I've been wasting, and how I never really got to use them efficiently, because I never tried to look at any other side of it. Lately, I've started becoming that lazy person whose productivity kept decreasing day by day, and so, that was just a huge chance for me to realize how it feels being REALLY productive, and how being offered 24 hours a day is an opportunity that one shouldn't let go of, just like that, without making the most out of it. One more thing I've learned, which brings us back to the very first line of this, is the reason behind doing all of that. How did I really get the energy to give up my sleep and focus for four whole days, without ever feeling bad about it? The answer is simply my 'why', I had a reason to wake up every day, I had something to look forward to each morning, I had my 'why', and it was a really strong 'why' that I was ready to give up whatever it is that was occupying my life and head, just to make the most out of those days. And so, my second resolution came rushing by, forcing me to promise myself that I wouldn't allow myself to sleep every night without setting something for myself that would make me leave my bed the minute I open my eyes. Because I actually did it in the camp, the minute my alarm rang, or someone knocked on my door, I'd always get dressed right away, with nothing on my mind other than the awesome trainings and activities ahead, that I was impatiently looking forward to. I believe that if I could do it there, I can do it anywhere.

Speaking of the trainings, there wasn't even one single training that I didn't get to learn something new from, even if it was a very tiny lesson, there was just always something to learn and reflect upon. Something worth mentioning is how the trainings were perfectly assigned to each trainer, allowing every person who was really good on something, to transfer their knowledge in the most useful way. Yasmin and her psychological personality analysis and REBT, Mostafa and his natural leadership skills, Mazen and his natural visionary character, Basant and how professional she is on culture matters, Nour and how he always holds on to his Ethics and Values, Mona and her calm character that knows how to energize people when they need it, and finally Maged and his awesome Mind Mapping techniques that I've personally always wanted to learn. I would've never thought of a better distribution for the topics and activities, so *applause*. That was inspiring because it made me rethink about how a person shouldn't really be knowledgeable on every possible topic, but instead, concentrate on just one or two aspects and be really good on them, in order to be an effective person. And not just any aspect, but that thing that you know you really enjoy and would find the passion that would drive you to learn more about it. That's just awesome. In addition to the fact that they all made me realize how important it is to pass on your knowledge to others, instead of just gaining it without making any use of it. My third resolution then was to make use of anything that I'd learn, and never keep it to myself.

I honestly started thinking about so many things in new ways after every training..

First of all, the concentration camps. We learned that those were camps in which people were detained and treated in the most humiliating ways, under really harsh conditions, but their reactions always differed according to their personalities, and according to the power of their own selves. Some people decided to give up because they knew there was no way out and they were going to die anyway, so they did nothing to actually resist what was happening to them. Others had different views, they resisted. One of them kept dreaming about that day he was going to get out and finally give a speech about those camps, letting the whole world know about them, he had a 'why' to live for. Others kept thinking about their families, how they wanted to see them so much, and how every day that passed brought them closer to finally seeing their loved ones. They were all being exposed to the same conditions, but at the end, it all depended on each person's perspective. I honestly never heard about the concentration camps before, and so the thought of it kept me thinking a lot. I also loved the question Hanin brought up which was "Do I live to dream, or do I dream to live?", it's something to ponder upon.

And, the REBT. Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy. To me, REBT really highlighted my irrational thoughts and beliefs that were stored inside my head, but never once did I think about the possibility of them being wrong. I blame myself too much, I concentrate on making things come out as perfect as I can without giving room for mistakes that I can learn from, I just have too many irrational thoughts that I never take the time to change anything about them. REBT was useful in making me realize that irrationality exists in my life, and disputing is probably going to be my favorite hobby.

The vision talk was again a great practical implementation for the first line of this piece; the 'why'. We were asked to answer three questions which were: Why are you alive? Are you happy? And, What do you want to be remembered for in your funeral? I don't remember I've ever given myself the time to actually sit down, write about those questions, and share them with people. I'm thankful for the fact I did let my thoughts out, and kind of got my ideas sorted out, I needed that. I needed to set any kind of 'why' to my life. I can't even describe how the answers to those questions that every person shared were inspirational, and I believe that this talk will never be forgotten. I now have a clear idea about what visions are; continuous, achievable, and measurable at different points in our lives, and I'll never let myself live without a vision, or a 'why' anymore.

Then comes the 5-hour leadership training! It was totally one of the best. This quote is forever staying in my head; "If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader" ~ Shady Naiem. I loved how each one of us had their own definition of leadership, and how they're all still true. The born or made discussions were great, and I loved how at the end we did reach a common ground and a convincing answer. I also learned about the different types of leadership, and if I were ever in a leading situation, I'm so going to keep that in mind and try as much as I can to be a mixture of the styles and not just concentrate on one of them. "إنما الأجر على قدر المشقة" is my favorite quote that was mentioned in this training. It just applies to everything, in a beautiful way.

Aaaand, the ENNEAGRAM TEST! I never gave that much attention to the different types of personalities, and I never even concentrated on my own! I believe the first step towards improving yourself is to understand who you really are in the first place. That test kind of gave me some guidelines, and made me identify some of what I need to change when I tried applying them to the rest of the trainings. I also learned how every single person has their openings and ways of dealing with them that hugely depends on their type of personality, and it gave me a clearer view to how I should deal with some people in my life. I still need to look more into that now that I have better knowledge, but that was really informative.

One of my very favorite trainings was the communication skills one! Taking it a bit personal, this day was when I felt that no matter what obstacles I'd be facing in my life, I'm sure I'll always find someone to help and have my back. I felt like I wanted to help everyone else as well, because of all the help and feedback I got when I expressed my problem. No one's ever going to imagine what that meant to me, but I'm just really thankful, and when I overcome my problem, insha'Allah, I'll always remember that linkers were the reason for it. Actually, knowing that someone cares that much, makes me want to become a better person and make them all proud. الحمد لله على نعمة ال-لينكرز. And on this day, I also learnt that nothing is ever going to change unless I make the commitment to change it, and from that moment, I did. لا يغير الله ما بقوم حتى يغيروا ما بأنفسهم kept ringing in my head all night long, and I'm so motivated to actually change.

Ethics and Values. Another important topic I needed to be reminded of and the way the discussion went was brilliant. I loved that activity where everyone got to talk about a value they've broken, and how it was easy sharing it with everyone in a totally nonjudgmental environment. I learnt that making mistakes is not something to be ashamed of if you're ready to learn from them and admit that you really did something wrong.

My ultimate favorite training was obviously the HR management one! I LOVED it. And I can't even begin to describe how awesome of a speaker Nour Shams is, I've learnt so much from her just by her attitude. The "Get them, Grow them, and Retain them" might have been something I knew about, but I've still been missing so much information that I did learn and currently want to develop. The fact that every single thing going on in a club like ours, is strategically planned and developed, makes it more interesting.

Moving on, the Culture and Copyrights trainings really got me thinking about my values, and how making the decision to commit to Glow's values should change the way I act on stuff that are even unrelated to Glow, on a personal level. Getting into those discussions after the Ethics and Values training made a difference, and I can tell that a lot is going to change in my life just because of that.

Finally, the beginning of Glow. That was one of the touchiest talks ever, seeing the pictures of Glow's founders, hearing stories about their problems as they began, realizing the change they're making into our lives after four whole years.. nothing compares to that. One of the quotes mentioned that deeply touched me was "A friend is someone who can help you change the world". It makes me smile, and I'm happy I have Linkers, and Glowers in general, to really help me change this world. "Blessed" is such a small word to describe what I really am.

That was just a very brief summary of what has been going around. I have never had that much fun before, while still developing myself.

And I also have so many favorite moments:

The water and soap game, we got to actually play games on a sheet of water and soap, and as weird as that sounds, it was the most fun thing I had done in SO long! I got out the child in me, who doesn't care about what she looks like, or what she sounds like. I got out an amazing amount of energy out on that day, and I just laughed like never before.

The MAZE! I got the most sincere hugs during that game, ehem.. And I've learnt an important lesson; never feel ashamed to ask for help.

The communication game, all what I've learnt from it, and all the memories associated. "17!"

The depression sketch, and how an emotion like that turned into Abdallah's hilarious cancer.

The girls' amazing acting talents, and how that one hour turned into one of my best memories ever.

The CIRCLES that energized us between the trainings.

And seriously, many, many more..

The best thing about the camp were the feedback letters! The minute I receive a new letter, and get to read something that would make my day, and the minute I decide to write someone something, and realize how much of a difference I've made. Expressing my feelings towards people is what I never want to stop doing, because it does mean a lot.

I've also learnt one huge important lesson from our discussions, which is to never take my close ones for granted, because I know I wouldn't stand the thought of losing them, ever.

I just wanted to let out all what I've learnt, what I've felt and what I've been thinking about, because I want to reread this next year, and proudly say that every Linker contributed in making me a better person, the person I would be, by just being the person he/she is. Every Linker has made a huge impact in my life, and helped me find my way,

linking who I want to be, with who I am.

I am blessed.