Dear you,
I haven't written to you -or about you- since so long, thinking that I've already gotten you off my mind a couple of months ago, but it turned out to not be very true.
I'm not really sure how I currently feel about you, but I've just experienced one of those moments when I felt I really needed to have you by my side. I really needed to send you a WhatsApp message at this very moment telling you how thankful I am for God having sent you my way, imagining you in my head waking up to read it first thing in the morning, brightening up your whole day. I needed to reread our conversation right before we said goodnight, a conversation that didn't feel like we've gotten used to it, yet it's the same thing we do everyday. A conversation where my heart skipped a beat every time I noticed a message being typed, wondering what could it possibly be, and rushing to read it as soon as you decide to send it to me. A conversation where I could perfectly hear your voice reading your every letter and every word, warming up my own ears. A conversation where we both competed on who's going to be the first one to start it, instead of the usual waiting for the other person to type in the first message, ending up not starting it at all because we're both too egoistic to speak. I wanted to send you a random smiley face, hoping it would reflect its image on your own lips and face.
I wanted you to be the first thing that came to my mind when I read a certain quote, and the first person I felt like sharing a picture that I've come across on the internet with, knowing no one will get it the way you would.
I wanted to feel my face turn red at the sight of your "Good morning, beautiful." every morning, even though I should have already gotten used to reading it. I wanted to feel excited about hanging out with you the next day, mentally making plans for what I want to wear; what I want you to see me in. I wanted to feel the pressure of your eyes the next day, as it analyzes every inch of me in a way that still doesn't expose me. I wanted to feel your desire for me as it grows, yet without making it feel like you want me in a dirty way. I wanted to feel the nervousness of being so close to someone as confident as you are, someone who makes me feel as safe as you do, while knowing that deep inside, your heart is probably melting, but you're too considerate to show any of it to me. I wanted to feel the nervousness of having everyone's eyes fixed on us, noticing that there's definitely something going on between the two of us, but letting it go because it's too cute to be pointed out. I wanted to feel like pushing them all away, just to get to spend a few minutes alone with you, where we'd say nothing from what's hidden inside, but the silence would clearly reveal it all.
I lay in my bed every night, making scenarios of the words I wish we'd share, and the words that I imagine you'd want us to say. I lay in bed every night thinking of all what I still have to give you, not even caring about what I should be expecting from you, because I know you wouldn't give me the time to wait and expect anyway. I lay in bed every night thinking about us, you and me. I lay in bed every night, mostly thinking about the beautiful you.
I miss you. And I'm too nostalgic for what we haven't even had.
I really do miss you, so very much..
Yours,
me.
I haven't written to you -or about you- since so long, thinking that I've already gotten you off my mind a couple of months ago, but it turned out to not be very true.
I'm not really sure how I currently feel about you, but I've just experienced one of those moments when I felt I really needed to have you by my side. I really needed to send you a WhatsApp message at this very moment telling you how thankful I am for God having sent you my way, imagining you in my head waking up to read it first thing in the morning, brightening up your whole day. I needed to reread our conversation right before we said goodnight, a conversation that didn't feel like we've gotten used to it, yet it's the same thing we do everyday. A conversation where my heart skipped a beat every time I noticed a message being typed, wondering what could it possibly be, and rushing to read it as soon as you decide to send it to me. A conversation where I could perfectly hear your voice reading your every letter and every word, warming up my own ears. A conversation where we both competed on who's going to be the first one to start it, instead of the usual waiting for the other person to type in the first message, ending up not starting it at all because we're both too egoistic to speak. I wanted to send you a random smiley face, hoping it would reflect its image on your own lips and face.
I wanted you to be the first thing that came to my mind when I read a certain quote, and the first person I felt like sharing a picture that I've come across on the internet with, knowing no one will get it the way you would.
I wanted to feel my face turn red at the sight of your "Good morning, beautiful." every morning, even though I should have already gotten used to reading it. I wanted to feel excited about hanging out with you the next day, mentally making plans for what I want to wear; what I want you to see me in. I wanted to feel the pressure of your eyes the next day, as it analyzes every inch of me in a way that still doesn't expose me. I wanted to feel your desire for me as it grows, yet without making it feel like you want me in a dirty way. I wanted to feel the nervousness of being so close to someone as confident as you are, someone who makes me feel as safe as you do, while knowing that deep inside, your heart is probably melting, but you're too considerate to show any of it to me. I wanted to feel the nervousness of having everyone's eyes fixed on us, noticing that there's definitely something going on between the two of us, but letting it go because it's too cute to be pointed out. I wanted to feel like pushing them all away, just to get to spend a few minutes alone with you, where we'd say nothing from what's hidden inside, but the silence would clearly reveal it all.
I lay in my bed every night, making scenarios of the words I wish we'd share, and the words that I imagine you'd want us to say. I lay in bed every night thinking of all what I still have to give you, not even caring about what I should be expecting from you, because I know you wouldn't give me the time to wait and expect anyway. I lay in bed every night thinking about us, you and me. I lay in bed every night, mostly thinking about the beautiful you.
I miss you. And I'm too nostalgic for what we haven't even had.
I really do miss you, so very much..
Yours,
me.
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