I've just finished watching a movie called "The girl who leapt through time", and just felt like I wanted to write.
The movie was from the very few ones that left me with a "HOW COME?" after almost every scene. I could never predict what could happen next and never expected a thing from what happened. And even though it was an Animation, I would still tear up through the touching moments.
First of all, if anyone's reading this without watching the movie, you gotta watch it first, if you don't want it spoiled. I'm not really sure what I'm going to write, I just feel I have too much within and not sure if there'd be spoilers or not.
Ever since I passed my 6th Grade, I've always wished I had the ability to go back in time. As days passed, the amount of stuff I'd wish to get back in my life, kept increasing. I had too many longings and I always thought that the days before those which I was living in, were so much better than my present.
That was one reason for my permanent longing. Another reason was that I've always wanted to edit some stuff from my past, undo some mistakes, and take some chances I've missed. I'd always play some conversations inside my head that has happened with some people, and wish I had replied differently or done something else. The uncountable embarrassing moments I've experienced through my days would always be regretted at night.
But of course none of that I've wished for, ever came true. I'd keep convincing myself that everything happens for a reason and that my life was all previously written for me, so regression was just of no use. Still, there'd be a little, tiny part inside, that would keep on recalling certain moments and blaming me for not doing what she wanted me to do, believing she knows best, no matter how much I tried to convince her with the opposite.
The movie very much triggered that part in me. As soon as Makoto realized she was able to leap through time, that tiny part grew larger and kept shouting out; "YES, I WANT THIS! PLEASE, I REALLY DO!". And I'd reply; "Shut up, it's just a movie!". But I knew I wanted this, too. I wanted to be able to undo certain events, I still wanted to correct some of my unintentional mistakes.
Through the first part of the movie, I secretly kept envying her, wishing that could happen for real. Whenever she was able to undo Chiaki's confession, I'd envy her more and more. I imagined myself undoing one certain big mistake of my life, that I've been regretting for too long, and it felt so good erasing it. But reality always hit back, I knew it'll always remain.
Kazuko then came in with another reality; "Ever think that someone might be suffering from your good fortune?". That question kept me thinking for so long. I couldn't possibly see how anyone would be affected by me changing MY own life?! "I feel sorry for Chiaki. After he worked up the courage," she said later. She was right. Just because Makoto didn't see herself with him doesn't mean she had the right to ruin his life, after he'd passed through a hard time trying to confess his love to her.
The way Chiaki first ended up was heartbreaking. Makoto suddenly realized she did really love him, which was very stupid after all the undo's she'd been doing. That was another lesson to learn. The one thing she was sure she never wanted, became actually all what she ever wanted. And that happens a lot in real life. It's all about taking chances. Yes, the unknown's fearful, but doing something and realizing it won't work is definitely better than not doing it and forever wondering how it would've been like. Or forever regretting that you hadn't taken the chance when you later discover it's all what you really wanted.
KÅsuke's accident was another proof that other lives could really get ruined. Yes, all what Makoto wanted was to get him and Kaho together, and changing fates was obviously not the right way to do it. Whatever's meant to happen, always finds its own way to happen, no matter how much anyone tries to interrupt. She got them together before it was actually meant for them to, and that resulted in their death. Ruining two lives for a noble cause wouldn't mean much then. So yeah, her intentions were good, but changing fates still had its drawbacks.
This movie was definitely a life-changing one. As soon as it ended, I could feel that tiny part in me growing smaller and smaller. I could feel she was ashamed of giving me such a hard time, cuz I've really proven myself right.
I started looking back at all what I've wanted to change about my life before, and that one huge mistake that I've thought was totally ruining my life. I realized that each and every incident of those, was perfectly planned for perfect reasons. That certain mistake especially, made me hate a certain someone so much more than I could have ever hatted them before I've done it. I would have been still suffering until this moment if I had never done what I've done, and for that I feel thankful. I would have certainly kept wondering what would it have been like if I did it, but I would have never known what it really feels like.
Anyway, putting this one thing aside, the rest of my life is definitely something I'd forever feel thankful for. Even if there were some moments when I'd be wishing I'd just disappear, I definitely learnt a lot from those experiences and I'm not coming up with quotes or anything but I would have certainly never been the person I am now if it weren't for certain incidents that my tiny part has always been regretting.
I really hope that this tiny part is fully convinced now, as much as I really am. For one thing I'm sure of, if I had the opportunity to go back in time or change anything I wanted from my past, I would never change a single thing.
The movie was from the very few ones that left me with a "HOW COME?" after almost every scene. I could never predict what could happen next and never expected a thing from what happened. And even though it was an Animation, I would still tear up through the touching moments.
First of all, if anyone's reading this without watching the movie, you gotta watch it first, if you don't want it spoiled. I'm not really sure what I'm going to write, I just feel I have too much within and not sure if there'd be spoilers or not.
Ever since I passed my 6th Grade, I've always wished I had the ability to go back in time. As days passed, the amount of stuff I'd wish to get back in my life, kept increasing. I had too many longings and I always thought that the days before those which I was living in, were so much better than my present.
That was one reason for my permanent longing. Another reason was that I've always wanted to edit some stuff from my past, undo some mistakes, and take some chances I've missed. I'd always play some conversations inside my head that has happened with some people, and wish I had replied differently or done something else. The uncountable embarrassing moments I've experienced through my days would always be regretted at night.
But of course none of that I've wished for, ever came true. I'd keep convincing myself that everything happens for a reason and that my life was all previously written for me, so regression was just of no use. Still, there'd be a little, tiny part inside, that would keep on recalling certain moments and blaming me for not doing what she wanted me to do, believing she knows best, no matter how much I tried to convince her with the opposite.
The movie very much triggered that part in me. As soon as Makoto realized she was able to leap through time, that tiny part grew larger and kept shouting out; "YES, I WANT THIS! PLEASE, I REALLY DO!". And I'd reply; "Shut up, it's just a movie!". But I knew I wanted this, too. I wanted to be able to undo certain events, I still wanted to correct some of my unintentional mistakes.
Through the first part of the movie, I secretly kept envying her, wishing that could happen for real. Whenever she was able to undo Chiaki's confession, I'd envy her more and more. I imagined myself undoing one certain big mistake of my life, that I've been regretting for too long, and it felt so good erasing it. But reality always hit back, I knew it'll always remain.
Kazuko then came in with another reality; "Ever think that someone might be suffering from your good fortune?". That question kept me thinking for so long. I couldn't possibly see how anyone would be affected by me changing MY own life?! "I feel sorry for Chiaki. After he worked up the courage," she said later. She was right. Just because Makoto didn't see herself with him doesn't mean she had the right to ruin his life, after he'd passed through a hard time trying to confess his love to her.
The way Chiaki first ended up was heartbreaking. Makoto suddenly realized she did really love him, which was very stupid after all the undo's she'd been doing. That was another lesson to learn. The one thing she was sure she never wanted, became actually all what she ever wanted. And that happens a lot in real life. It's all about taking chances. Yes, the unknown's fearful, but doing something and realizing it won't work is definitely better than not doing it and forever wondering how it would've been like. Or forever regretting that you hadn't taken the chance when you later discover it's all what you really wanted.
KÅsuke's accident was another proof that other lives could really get ruined. Yes, all what Makoto wanted was to get him and Kaho together, and changing fates was obviously not the right way to do it. Whatever's meant to happen, always finds its own way to happen, no matter how much anyone tries to interrupt. She got them together before it was actually meant for them to, and that resulted in their death. Ruining two lives for a noble cause wouldn't mean much then. So yeah, her intentions were good, but changing fates still had its drawbacks.
This movie was definitely a life-changing one. As soon as it ended, I could feel that tiny part in me growing smaller and smaller. I could feel she was ashamed of giving me such a hard time, cuz I've really proven myself right.
I started looking back at all what I've wanted to change about my life before, and that one huge mistake that I've thought was totally ruining my life. I realized that each and every incident of those, was perfectly planned for perfect reasons. That certain mistake especially, made me hate a certain someone so much more than I could have ever hatted them before I've done it. I would have been still suffering until this moment if I had never done what I've done, and for that I feel thankful. I would have certainly kept wondering what would it have been like if I did it, but I would have never known what it really feels like.
I really hope that this tiny part is fully convinced now, as much as I really am. For one thing I'm sure of, if I had the opportunity to go back in time or change anything I wanted from my past, I would never change a single thing.
No comments:
Post a Comment