Looking back at it all, realizing it's been happening all along the way. It's been repeating itself over and over again, destroying a new tiny part inside, every time. Parts that were never felt before, but together made a huge hole. Still not a hole though, but a destroyed, un-mend-able part, within.
I met them, we changed. I loved you, distance brought us apart. I enjoyed her company, she died. I thought he was all I wanted, I grew up. I still thought you were the only untouchable part I owned, but apparently, life still had its own plans.
Time after time, feelings started freezing. Yes, feelings freeze. Freezing every other thing along, but life just doesn't wait for anything to melt.
I wonder why is it that after this particular time, I can't get back to who I was, who I've always been?! Who's that apathetic person you turned me into? It was expected I know, I prayed for it all to happen. But maybe it just didn't turn out to be how I imagined it? Maybe.
You don't know why I turned into the person I am, but trust me; neither do I. You changed my deep down self, without neither of us even noticing.
Attachments, that's what they do. There's a thin line between being too attached to absolutely everything around you, and between being completely apathetic. I've crossed that line. But I can't get back, you know why? Because I've crossed it in the most inhuman way ever, tearing it all apart. There's no line anymore. There's just me, refusing to get attached to anything new. Refusing to get into all what I've been wanting since forever. Looking for other reasons to justify my refutations. But at the end of the day, I'm here all alone by myself. Knowing it's not true. Knowing it's me, or it's actually you.
Well, it's not your fault, no. Neither is it mine. Maybe it's the line's fault. Or maybe it's what I should've been, without anyone's fault.
Worst thing about it all is feeling the apathy towards Him. I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry..
I met them, we changed. I loved you, distance brought us apart. I enjoyed her company, she died. I thought he was all I wanted, I grew up. I still thought you were the only untouchable part I owned, but apparently, life still had its own plans.
Time after time, feelings started freezing. Yes, feelings freeze. Freezing every other thing along, but life just doesn't wait for anything to melt.
I wonder why is it that after this particular time, I can't get back to who I was, who I've always been?! Who's that apathetic person you turned me into? It was expected I know, I prayed for it all to happen. But maybe it just didn't turn out to be how I imagined it? Maybe.
You don't know why I turned into the person I am, but trust me; neither do I. You changed my deep down self, without neither of us even noticing.
Attachments, that's what they do. There's a thin line between being too attached to absolutely everything around you, and between being completely apathetic. I've crossed that line. But I can't get back, you know why? Because I've crossed it in the most inhuman way ever, tearing it all apart. There's no line anymore. There's just me, refusing to get attached to anything new. Refusing to get into all what I've been wanting since forever. Looking for other reasons to justify my refutations. But at the end of the day, I'm here all alone by myself. Knowing it's not true. Knowing it's me, or it's actually you.Well, it's not your fault, no. Neither is it mine. Maybe it's the line's fault. Or maybe it's what I should've been, without anyone's fault.
Worst thing about it all is feeling the apathy towards Him. I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry..
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